Online Ph.D Student

You're a longtime political activist. Could you describe some of your social change work?

I identify primarily as a Jewish lesbian social justice activist and have been working for systemic change and personal growth my entire adult life. I have done international solidarity work in Nicaragua, the Balkans, and Palestine; helped build a national feminist cultural movement; was active in the antinuclear power and weapons movement; lead workshops against racism, sexism, and anti-Semitism; and have been involved in women's spirituality, with a special interest in looking at issues of power. I have done this work as an organizer, radio broadcaster, writer, and multimedia producer.

In 1992 I published two books based on radio interviews that I had produced: Voices from a "Promised Land": Palestinian and Israeli Peace Activists Speak Their Hearts (Curbstone Press); and Visionary Voices: Women on Power, Conversations with Shamans, Activists, Teachers, Artists, and Healers (Aunt Lute Press). I turned Visionary Voices into a video that was distributed nationally by Women Make Movies, and I used the video to teach various classes at CIIS.

What were you doing before you came to CIIS?

Before CIIS, I toured the country as a cultural worker—as a musician singing songs of struggle and liberation. I was also part of a political research collective, organized tours/concerts/festivals for progressive performers nationally, and worked as a meeting planner. Since 1991 I have worked as the special events organizer for the Middle East Children's Alliance in Berkeley, a humanitarian aid/human rights organization that has raised nearly $9 million in medical aid for children in Iraq and Palestine.

What attracted you to CIIS?

I was drawn to CIIS because of its emphasis on the integration of mind, body, and spirit. I also knew and admired several of the doctoral students in the cohort ahead of mine. They were social justice activists, including Jews and people of color, and they strongly encouraged me to join them.

What did you choose this doctoral program?

I enrolled because I was captivated by the program's focus on how things change and how people learn. At age 45, I wanted to go deeper with my activism, to learn how to be more effective in creating social justice.

What impact has the program had on you, personally and professionally?

This program has had a profound impact on my life. It taught me about nondualism, which completely challenged my practice as a social change activist. Until then I had often viewed issues—and people—as "good" or "bad." I learned how to hold multiple perspectives—to work with compassion and understanding rather than blame and anger. I also learned to notice my own underlying assumptions, as well as those of others, as an initial tool in creating change, and how disorienting experiences can often lead to transformative change.

Systems theory work provided an excellent framework for understanding the world, relationships, and change. I also did powerful somatic work, with adjunct faculty, which opened up noncognitive parts of myself. I then built on this work with a course on the religious teacher and philosopher Krishnamurti.

In the program I also learned about synergic inquiry, a strategy for helping people develop a deep empathic understanding of the "other," as well as ourselves. It was a powerful tool for exploring difference and power, and for grappling with my racism. The focus on multiple ways of knowing and learning opened me up to validating my own learning style as well as the different styles of those around me.

I also learned to do cooperative inquiry, which was a gift resonating with my feminism. This is a holistic process used by a group of peers to explore an issue of mutual interest. I used it for my dissertation study on how anti-Semitism affected a diverse group of Jewish women activists.

What specific courses that left a lasting impression on you?

Haridas Chaudhri's "Integral Consciousness" introduced me to nondualistic thinking, which was a huge revelation. I loved the open nonlinear thinking of systems theory and the work of Margaret Wheatley and Gregory Bateson. It gave me a sense of expansiveness, of connection, of possibility, of wonder and delight. The book Women's Ways of Knowing helped me understand my own experience and those of other women around me. I particularly appreciated reading Adrienne Rich's "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence," which gave me a framework for understanding how patriarchy and capitalism have constructed me and this culture.

Probably the single most powerful experience was the synergic inquiry process that occurred between our two teams, one made up of people who were white and the other comprised of African Americans. This intense experiential work, over the course of six months, broke open many of my deeply-held assumptions, challenged me at my core, helped me break through my denial and face despair, and ultimately helped me heal and form lasting bonds with white, black, and Jewish students.

It was a combination of our somatic work and our cultural synergy (synergic inquiry) work that led to my enormous breakthrough around learning what I had lost as a Jew by growing up assimilated; although I had white privilege, I had lost a deep sense of belonging to my people. This breakthrough ultimately led to the healing journey of my dissertation, in which I am exploring internalized oppression and learning to create healing strategies.

What have you learned from being a part of the CIIS community?

Many of the students in my doctoral cohort of 18 people have become lifelong friends who have had a huge impact on my life. From them I learned how to break through my denial about the impact of racism and white privilege and I began to value my Jewish heritage on a much deeper level. I also learned about ambiguity—about living with not knowing—as well as the value of holding multiple perspectives. I learned a lot about love, and about going through conflict and struggling with difference—and in the process, creating true alliance and authentic relationship.

What are your current projects?

I am currently involved as a board member of Jewish Voice for Peace, one of the largest national grassroots peace organization in the United States. We just published a book called Reframing Anti-Semitism, which includes an article from my dissertation. I am very proud of our current national campaign to get the Caterpillar Corporation to halt sales of its bulldozers to the Israeli military, on the grounds that these bulldozers are often used to demolish the homes of many Palestinians.

I also tour nationally to university campuses with my slide show Women Waging Peace in Israel and Palestine, which shows people what it is like to live under the occupied lands of the West Bank and Gaza Strip, and the resistance struggle of Palestinians and Israeli peace activists.

I am also a member of the European American Collaborative for Challenging Whiteness, a research and writing group that began six years ago among CIIS students and faculty.

What are your plans after you graduate from CIIS?

Once I graduate, I hope to publish my dissertation (on internalized Jewish oppression) and to get adjunct teaching jobs at nearby community colleges. I would love to teach classes in feminist activism, leadership, and liberation issues. I also plan to continue working at the Middle East Children's Alliance, and I would love to be involved in other action research projects.

Transformative Studies Program